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In the past, goal-setting used to be a big deal for my clients, and naturally, walking the talk – they were an integral part of my life too.
Setting goals would provide clarity, much-needed direction, it would make daily decisions far easier to make… and ultimately, we’d get what we focused on.
Goal setting, when done properly, really works well and can support your efforts in creating the life you always wanted – for sure.
But here’s a question: Why do you want to set those goals?
In most cases, we are led to believe that achieving the desired goal would equate to the success of some sort, which would, in turn, bring us happiness, right?
And that’s where the challenge is for me nowadays.
Happiness is a state, it’s an emotion.
Emotions are chemicals – created and released into our bloodstream by our brain.
And for some reason, we are willing to postpone that happiness, until we honor some adopted rules for when it’s ok to feel happy.
It seems to me that for most people, feeling truly happy is not all right… until they tick all the boxes of what kinds of stuff they should have, create or experience first – in order to be happy.
And yet, my whole life experience suggests that most people, including myself, once they reach the desired goal, while some happiness does follow, it never lasts!
It’s there for a minute, or a day… a week at most… and off we go onto the next goal… postponing our happiness for that next milestone.
Again, setting goals for the achievement of certain outcomes is super helpful.
Setting them to make you successful and happy, seems weirdly wrong.
I know far too many successful people, who are not happy at all, whose quality of life is horrible on all counts.
That is… until they worked with me ;)
So I suggest that success will hardly ever bring you happiness.
If anything, I think that happiness is bound to bring you success faster than any goal setting would.
In my own life, I abandoned using discontent as a motivation strategy… and I started following my inner joy, wherever it wanted to take me.
I allowed myself to be not childish but child-like, allowing myself to be happy and joyful, and enjoying that vibe… being open to discover the world seemingly around me, guided by that inner, forever loving, forever guiding compass.
Man… did my life change since I started doing that!
Yes, I am talking again about following my excitement, my inner joy and passion – to the best of my ability, in any given moment… with no attachment to a specific outcome.
Since then, I have no need to set a goal.
I already achieved any goal I could want, I already “won”, I already succeeded…
Because I live an inspired, happy, joyful life, walking on the path that has a heart.
That was my ultimate and only goal behind all my other goals anyway.
I just wanted my life to be meaningful, for me to be happy, vibrant and content in my soul.
And if that’s what you want…
Good luck setting a goal for that!
As those are not things that you could buy or acquire, or even learn how to do…
Those are all states, which seems rather silly postponing in life, to any future date, because… you can have them all right now.
Just look around you, my human friend, and you’ll notice millions of paths around you…
So go ahead and pick the one that has a heart… and stay on that path for as long as you can.
And when it “loses heart”, that’s ok… just look around and pick the next most exciting one, and off you go… with no attachment to a specific outcome, nor ever needing to complete that specific path… as your only goal would be to live it, for as long as it touches your heart.
Think about that, my human friend, and I wish you a great weekend ahead.
Robert “Happiness Leads To Success” Simic
P.S. If you like what I am suggesting, but feel the fear of letting go… if you worry about the consequences of such decisions and their potential impact on your life, or your loved ones – I understand.
It’s not easy to trust your inner, built-in wisdom. It’s not easy to surrender to that inner, self-correcting, guiding mechanism.
It seems far better to rely on our very limited, acquired knowledge about what life is and how we should make it work for us, guided by your ever-so-knowing conscious mind… with a rather limited understanding of life workings… hmmmm…
All teasing aside, I get that it’s not easy to do so – I truly do. So if you want my assistance in helping you find your own grounding, and helping you get in touch with that deeper, loving part of yourself, I am here for you. Just reach out, whenever you are ready. I am here for you, to guide you, to coach you, to mentor you, but only when you feel that your time has come.