It's twenty to eight in the evening in a co-working space in Dubai Media City, and Hana has just ended a Zoom call that went beautifully.
The woman on the other side had come in tense and guarded. Forty-five minutes later she was laughing, a little tearful, and saying "this was so helpful, I can't believe how much clearer I feel". Hana had asked great questions. She'd spotted the pattern. She'd even helped her draft the conversation she needed to have with her manager.
At the end, she'd mentioned her coaching packages. The woman said she'd think about it.
That was three weeks ago. She hasn't replied to the follow-up email. And Hana, who is a good coach, is starting to wonder what she's doing wrong, because it keeps happening.
Hana is a composite. What happened on her call isn't a failure of skill. It's a confusion about what the call was for.
What is a coaching discovery call?
A coaching discovery call is a short diagnostic conversation that happens before any agreement to work together. Its job is to find out what the person wants, whether coaching is the right kind of help, and whether you're the right coach. It isn't a free session and it isn't a pitch. Done well, both people leave knowing the next step.
That last sentence is the measure. Not whether the person enjoyed it.
Why do discovery calls go wrong?
They tend to slide into one of two shapes.
The first is the free session. The coach wants to show what coaching can do, so they coach. The person gets real value, sometimes a lot of it, and leaves feeling better. That relief is the problem. They came in with a question that needed a decision, and they leave with the pressure gone and no decision made. A complimentary session can be a fine thing to offer if you choose to. It's a poor substitute for a diagnosis when it happens by accident.
The second is the pitch. The coach is nervous about money, or about being chosen, so the call becomes a tour of packages and outcomes. The person feels sold to, and closes up.
The two look opposite. They usually come from the same place: something in the coach needs this call to go a certain way. Hold that thought. We'll come back to it, because it's the part technique can't fix on its own.
If you'd like to see how a fit conversation works from the other side of the table, the way into RSCI is one: a free Zoom with Sara, our veteran RS Method Master Coach. You can book it through our apply page. Or read on.
How should you structure a discovery call?
Think of it as five movements, with most of the time spent in the middle three. Here's a version you can adapt, with lines you can say out loud.
- Set the frame. Before anything else, say what the call is and isn't. "This is a conversation to understand what you're looking for and whether working together makes sense. I won't coach you properly today, and I won't push you into anything. By the end, we'll both know the next step, even if it's not with me."
- Hear the presenting issue. Ask what brought them here now, and let them talk. "What made you book this call this week, rather than six months ago?" The word "now" often tells you more than the issue.
- Look underneath. Find out whether you're looking at a goal or a pattern. "What have you already tried?" "What happened when it worked for a while?" "If nothing changed in the next year, what would that cost you?" If you want more questions for this stage, we've set out five in what is transformational coaching.
- Check fit on both sides. Is this coaching, or does it need a different kind of help? Is it within what you're trained to hold? Are they ready to do their part? "What would you need from a coach to make this worth your time?" "How much time and energy do you have for this right now?"
- Name the next step plainly. Yes, not yet, or not with me. If it's yes, describe how you'd work together and what it costs, in two or three sentences, then stop talking. If it's anything else, say so, and say why.
Notice what's missing. There's no section where you prove how good you are. The quality of your attention through steps two to four does that, without a single claim.
How do you say "not yet" with integrity?
By saying it out loud, with a reason, and with somewhere to go next.
"Not yet" is one of the most useful things a coach can say, and one of the hardest, because it costs you a client today. Here are four reasons it can be the right answer, and a way to say each one.
- They want someone else to change. "Most of what you've described is about your partner's behaviour. Coaching works on what you can do and who you're being. If that's something you want to look at, I'd love to help. If not, I don't think I'm the right next step."
- They're not ready to do their part. "It sounds like there's a lot on your plate right now. I'd rather we started when you've got room for it. Would it help to check in again in a couple of months?"
- It's outside what you're trained to hold. "This is beyond my area. I'd suggest someone who specialises in it, and I'm happy to point you towards where to look."
- It looks clinical. If you notice signs such as severe low mood, trauma symptoms or thoughts of self-harm, say what you've noticed and suggest they speak to a doctor or a qualified mental health professional. If someone is in immediate danger, contact your local emergency services. Coaching can sometimes run alongside that care. It never replaces it. Where that line falls is the subject of our guide to coaching vs therapy vs mentoring.
A coach who can say "not yet" kindly is a coach people trust with "yes". And the people you send elsewhere often remember who told them the truth. That matters in a network city like this one, which we write about in how to get your first coaching clients.
Why does your own inner work show up on a discovery call?
Because the hardest part of the call isn't the structure. It's what happens in you while you run it.
Go back to Hana. She knew not to coach on a discovery call. Then the woman on the screen went quiet and her eyes filled, and something in Hana moved faster than her plan. The urge to help, to make it better, to be the one who made the difference. It's a beautiful instinct. It's also how a diagnosis turns into a free session.
The pitch has the same root, pointing the other way. A coach who's frightened about money, or who needs to be chosen to feel good enough, will fill every silence with reasons to buy.
A technique is only as good as the nervous system running it. You can learn a perfect call structure, and the first time someone cries, or asks "how much?", whatever is unresolved in you will take the call over.
That's why RSCI is built on the Inner Work First Principle: the practitioner is transformed before the practitioner is trained. You do your own work first, inside the cohort, under supervision. The need to rescue, the need to be chosen, the fear around money: those get met in you before they get loose in a client's call. Then the structure above stops being a script you're holding onto, and becomes simply how you work.
If that's the part you'd like to look at, a free conversation with Sara is where every route into RSCI starts. She'll tell you plainly whether we're the right fit. You can book it here.
What should a training give you before you take discovery calls?
Before you choose where to train, look for three things.
- Your own inner work, done first. Inside the training and under supervision, so the pull to rescue or to sell is something you've already met in yourself.
- A method for what's underneath. So that in the middle of a call you can tell whether you're looking at a goal or a pattern, and know what you'd actually do with either.
- A way in that practises what it teaches. At RSCI, the way in is itself a fit conversation. There's no pitch and no pressure. We assess fit on both sides, and Sara also surfaces whether you're ready to be the client first.
Sara is one of our Master Coach team, the network of senior RS Method Master Coaches who graduated through Robert's training and now hold client work directly.
A good diagnosis matters because of what can follow it. What followed for one client, a lawyer, was years of internal conflict resolved in minutes through a deep identity shift. That was one person's work, and it's why a practitioner needs to see clearly what's in front of them before saying yes. Don't take it as a speed you or your clients should expect.
If that's the kind of practitioner you want to become, Sara is the person to talk to first, and the conversation costs nothing. Book it through our apply page. You can also read how the method works on The Method.
Robert Simic, training the next generation.
P.S. Your next discovery call will reach the moment where you want to help or want to be chosen. If you'd like to work on what happens in you at that moment, start with a conversation that runs the way a good discovery call should. Book your free conversation with Sara.